Debola, a woman in her early 40’s, came into our studio to take some lessons on personal makeup some months back. She lamented on how she’s lost her sexy confidence after having her awesome kids.

She said she used to be a fun, lively and fashionable person (was surprised at this, because truthfully  she didn’t look it at all). She’s put her life on hold to raise and focus on her children, which is the greatest gift a mother can give. NOW, the children are grown but she feels she’s lost who she really is along the way, which isn’t nobody’s fault but HERS! No more blame game..

Many of us lost our sexy confidence after having our children, putting on weight, marriage issues , a bad divorce , losing a job, death of a partner or just mere laziness.

 Here  are few tips I shared with her , that has helped some of my clients and myself get back on track:

– LIT YOURSELF: have you heard that Rihanna’s song *shine bright like a diamond*loll. look good and feel great . When you feel beautiful , you feel more sexy and confident. Be more fashionable and wear colours that complement your skin tone and trust me you don’t have to break the bank to look really good.

– Invest in new underwear’s. Yes I just said that! even if no one really sees it, it gives you that boost with inner confidence.

– GET IN SHAPE: I’m not saying go skinny, I said get in shape! A million of reasons to do this; you will not only lose a few pounds, it lowers stress, gives you extra boost of energy, confidence and sexiness. It’s like Magic!  100% tested, I lost about 12kg in 3months some years ago (no gym ,no machines, no special diets, just doing a workout routine on my laptop  in my sitting room, sometimes I get the kids to join in, so no more excuses my dears!) .

– Do fun things with your partner, children and friends.

– Create a kid free zone in your house:  It may be your bedroom, make it neat and tidy, create an ambience for fun with your partner(you gat what I mean*wink*)

– Make the first move: it’s OK to make the first move when it comes to sex with our partners. Try it and thank me later.

– Love, cherish and respect yourself, it doesn’t matter what others think or say about you, say positive things to and about yourself all the time no matter the challenges you’re facing. Life itself is a challenge, so embrace it positively.

– Simply Changing the way you think about yourself, can have a powerful impact on all aspects of your life.

– Stop competing or comparing yourself to other women, You are a SPECIAL BREED.

– Learn to relax, chill out and pamper yourself (Yes you deserve it!).You might think you need big money to do this, nothing too fancy, forget all that 5 star /10 star hotel or spa treatment, if you can afford it GREAT! going to cinemas, even eating out in a regular canteen (Yea! so no excuse) ,or just putting your feet up in your bedroom is awesome as well .

– Don’t try too hard to be sexy confidence, Be yourself in the process.

– Trust and  believe in yourself. YES YOU CAN!!!

Hope one or  more helps, it’s a process but keep at it. I’m sure at the end of the 30days, it’s still you but a more SEXY CONFIDENT YOU *wink*

If you need further clarification, advice, help, accountability and support in getting your sexy confidence back, I’m always here to help.

Will be glad to see you share more tips in the comments bar below, on how you got your own sexy confidence back.

I’m in love with what I do.


Life Coach for women.

…I help women to rediscover the spark that gives them the true fulfilment of their purpose to be much more than being mums and wives.

Please follow us on instagram  @urbanfixmakeupacademy and @dreamwithtemi for tips to living an exceptional, purposeful and beautiful life.

4 Responses

  1. Funmilola ayoola-nehan
    • August 25, 2016

    Well done sis…

    I totally agree with you.

    My confidence was built back after child birth when I embark in weight loss journey. …
    I have added a bit now but that set look that it brought back into me has made me vibrant….
    Infact it has help me in my work too and my head is always up high. ..

    Well done….

    Looking good is good business. ..

    • urbanfix
      • September 10, 2016

      Yesso,looking good is good business.Thanks so much funmi.

  2. Aina Omolara Esther
    • September 8, 2016

    Be your usual self always. Having baby (ies) is no disease and it doesn’t throw you out of fashion.Don’t forget that how you build yourself is what become of you. Looking sexy should be in all ages and not just in 40s or 50s.Always look your best coz it helps bring the best out of you.Don’t let your mood affect your appearance. Remember the saying:how you dress is how you’ll be addressed.LOOKING GOOD IS ONE OF MY HOBBIES. Don’t also forget you’re the 1st model to your kids.

    • urbanfix
      • September 10, 2016

      true,we are our kids first model.thankyou so much omolara

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